Every morning, afternoon and evening, I check my roses for bugs, specifically, Japanese beetles. It’s a June thing. And… Almost every single time I look, I find one, two or seven beetles! Another bug! They just keep coming. Thankfully, I don’t have a full-out invasion, rather, simply a steady trickle of bugs. Damaging bugs.
As I gathered and crushed yet another slew of bugs this morning, I couldn’t help but think of the parallel to my own heart. Every time I look back over my day, I see yet another “soul pest.” One, two or seven of them. A tendency to be stern when I should rather be kind. A snappy reaction to my children instead of mercy. Grumbly speech that serves no purpose other than spreading gloom. The bugs keep showing up!
What’s the Big Deal
So, what would happen if I didn’t check my garden for bugs? Would I necessary have an immediate epidemic? Maybe not. But each individual Japanese beetle or stink bug can do quite a bit of damage. If I don’t spot them and destroy them, they will destroy more of my garden’s beauty and fruitfulness. The same applies to my heart. If I leave my faults unchecked, then they grow and increase. And what do these faults do to my soul? They mar the beauty of my heart.
My life would radiate more light if I didn’t shut down in selfishness. My life will radiate more peace, if I don’t shirk the little duties of the day. This imperfection is the human condition… But! it is not what we want to settle for. Don’t we all want more love, more light, more joy to radiate from our hearts?
The Examen Prayer
There are spiritual practices much like my practice of periodically walking through my garden with an eye for pests to eradicate. One such method comes from the teaching of St Ignatius of Loyola. It’s called the Examen Prayer. I highly recommend looking into this spiritual practice. My favorite resource on the topic is a series of podcasts by Fr. Timothy Gallagher. Basically, the Examen seeks to discern who and what is working on my heart today? If it is evil, to reject it. If it is good, to accept it. It’s a quick glance at your soul.
Sound scary? Take heart. The examen prayer is not done in an isolated cell, but in the presence of the Always-Present, All-Powerful, All-Good God. When the pest is too big or too pernicious for me to oust, He is there to free me. When I don’t see a pest which really needs to be dealt with, then He will draw my attention to it. And, it’s not all negative. He helps me to recognize and relish the beauty and goodness within my own heart. Much like one might stop to drink in the fragrance of a rose while bending to smash a rose-eating beetle.
What of My Heart?
Garden pesticides and hand-picking insects can control garden damage, but they can’t fix it. Is my heart as hopeless as the hapless, insect-laced rose? I can imagine all this comparing garden damage to heart damage could be pretty discouraging. Ugly even. A scripture of hope comes to mind. “And I will repay you for the years which the locust has eaten, the grasshopper, the devourer, and the cutter (Joel 2:25).” This is a mystery of grace, of God’s free gift to us, He has power to restore the beauty of our hearts.
“Do not fear little flock, it is your Father’s will to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:23
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